All is not well in Lambeth. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Marcus Welby M.D., having launched an attack on loan sharks money lenders WONGA, yesterday was told by his own advisers that the Church of England had itself invested shed loads of dosh into the extortion Pay Day Loaners.

Worse news was to follow as sources at The Sharp Single stole discovered images from Welby’s personal photo collection, which illustrate just how involved the C.of E. really is with the much-maligned racketeers.

The ABC, or “The Bish”, as he’s known down his local dog track, is expected to make a statement later today, shortly after the 4.15 at Newmarket.

Walking in Welby Wonga Land: Let he who casts the first stone pay back 5853% in interest.

Pew’s the Bastard in the Black ? The Ultimate embarrassment for The Archbishop as he’s pictured wearing a Newcastle United strip.

Now let us stand as we sing Hymn no.109:
“I Vow to Pay Thy Loan Back
(I’d like to Keep my Knees)”