Welby Wonga & the Short Loan Factory


All is not well in Lambeth. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Marcus Welby M.D., having launched an attack on loan sharks money lenders WONGA, yesterday was told by his own advisers that the Church of England had itself invested shed loads of dosh into the extortion Pay Day Loaners.

Worse news was to follow as sources at The Sharp Single stole discovered images from Welby’s personal photo collection, which illustrate just how involved the C.of E. really is with the much-maligned racketeers.

The ABC, or “The Bish”, as he’s known down his local dog track, is expected to make a statement later today, shortly after the 4.15 at Newmarket.

wongabishop

Walking in Welby Wonga Land: Let he who casts the first stone pay back 5853% in interest.

wongabish

Pew’s the Bastard in the Black ? The Ultimate embarrassment for The Archbishop as he’s pictured wearing a Newcastle United strip.

Now let us stand as we sing Hymn no.109:
“I Vow to Pay Thy Loan Back
(I’d like to Keep my Knees)”

 

Not Losing a Daughter, but Gaining a Useful Lower Middle Order Batsman


An address composed by the Revd Stewart Ftyfe, who was umpiring/officiating at the wedding of some cricket nut and thought he’d come up with something appropriate. Sent into TMS yesterday and readout by Aggers live on air. Lovely stuff.

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Troubling the Scorers


leg bye

Lords Cricket Ground, London, August 2009. Jesuit Spitfires vrs Opus Dei Casuals. Final of The CCCCC (Catholic Church Club Cricket Cup), or the Pontiff Playoff, as it’s known.  Standing umpire ‘Jordie’ Bergoglio signals a Leg Bye, denying the batsman, Cardinal K Fiddler of Baltimore, his debut first class century. Opus Dei went onto to win by courtesy of a Mother Superior run rate (Duckworth Lewis) (source: PopeCrickPix)