A British All-Conners Record

The Daily Telegraph writes:

Olympic beer to cost £7.23 a pint

Bars at the official Games venues will charge £4.80 for a small serving of London 2012 red wine. For visitors with an appetite for traditional British fare, a portion of cod and chips will set them back at least £8.

The London 2012 organisers, who published sample menus yesterday, claimed the prices were “more than comparable” to catering costs at other sporting events. An estimated 14 million meals will be served to spectators across 40 locations during the Games.

Paul Deighton, chief executive of London 2012, said the organisers had “gone to great lengths” to find “high quality, tasty food that celebrates the best of Britain”.

A 330ml bottle of Heineken lager at the Games will cost £4.20, making the equivalent price of a pint £7.23. This is more than double the national average price of £3.17 for a pint of beer.

Spectators will pay £2.10 for a toasted teacake, £2.30 for a 500ml bottle of Coca-Cola and £2 for a cup of tea. A family of four should be able to buy food and drinks for under £40, according to London 2012. “

They say this last bit without a hint of irony. That’ll be 40 quid on top of the four £450 tickets to watch 20 minutes of the 1m synchronized ping pong. But who the fuck cares any more? We let these robbers get away with it, as we string up our flags and bunting, wave our Union Jacks and remark “ooh hasn’t that nice Mr Coe got old since he took over the games ?”. Of course he looks old. So would you if you had to lug great wads of cash home every night, under the cover of darkness.

Let’s not worry about it. Let’s light up the barbies, sing God Save the Queen for the Jubilee and give thanks that in these harsh times of mass unemployment, crime and poverty, when more and more are driven to stealing to feed themselves and their families, when the southern half of continental Europe is about to go under, we still have a time and the tact to celebrate and wave at a woman who drives around in a solid gold coach.

Let’s shout “C’mon Ingerlund” as the Ukrainian and Polish Nazi Parties beat the shite out of football fans from ethnic backgrounds (well, anyone who isn’t Ukrainian or Polish really), and all this because Michel Platini and his Uefa mafia turn a blind eye to racism and violence within football culture, just as long as he gets his big bucks (or small Euros at the time of going to press). I do not have the data on the price of Heineken beer in Kiev.

Then when a football match breaks out on the pitch and our team loses we can slaughter Roy Hodgson for picking completely wrong 11 idiots, as there were 11 other idiots waiting at home in bed with their friend’s wives, trying to take their minds off of not being selected.

Lets sit back and enjoy the liars of the world: Blair, Cameron, Murdoch (+1), Hunt, Wade, Coulson and the rest of them squirm their way around the questions which would and should bring down the lot of them. But they won’t. You know they won’t. Come the end of Leveson, and save for a couple of minor-ish victims and sacrifices like Brooks and Coulson, the Murdoch Empire, the Fleet St rags and the British Government will still be in place and will still operate in exactly the same way.

Some people moan about it and sites like the one you are reading make a fuss about all this shit now and then, but it doesn’t really do anything or matter in any way shape or form, does it? If it mattered, more than 32% of the country would get out and vote these crooks, thieves and tramps out of office. If it mattered there would be a day of action against arseholes like Andrew Lansley, Michael Gove and Nick Clegg EVERY WEEK, not just once every winter equinox.

So enjoy the next few months. Don’t trip over the maypole or the bunting this weekend; when the football arrives, cheer and clap and the local police, the UEFA officials and the TV cameras ignore the Zeig Heil chants and the Nazi Salutes; smirk and laugh as one-by-one cabinet minister after cabinet minister lies his way out of court; stand and salute and sympathize with the judge trying to get to the bottom of this really sordid scandal, only to be left with the head of the odd PM spin doctor, or Eton old boy to show for it;

Wash that MacDonald’s Olympic burger down with your pint of Heineken. That’ll be well worth fifteen quid of anyone’s money. But not mine. I shall be spending the odd £2.60 on a pint in The Shovel then nip across the road to the chip shop, or maybe the kebab house where I can pick up a large meal for the price of a 330ml bottle of imported Olympic lager. Then I’ll nip home to see if there’s any cricket on to watch. There’s no telly in The Shovel, so it’ll be cans of Guinness on the sofa, in front of the box for me. So keep your over-priced games, your over-hyped jubilee, and your über-alles Championship.
I’ll keep my kebab and a pint. You have your Red-White-and-Blue season. I’ll be happy with my Doner Summer.


10 thoughts on “A British All-Conners Record

  1. Barring your parting “Doner summer” which I applaud for its’ ingenuity( surely a headline writing job at The Sun awaits you?!) I get the distinct impression that something has got your goat?!
    Sadly I believe ’twas ever thus just that today there is so much ‘transparency’ and media coverage of everything that we are made all too painfully aware of the hypocrisy in life…
    Am afraid it’s time to turn a blind eye and leave the country…

    Were you wearing the ‘Black Dog’ shirt when you typed?!

  2. Fair point. Although if you’re watching the cricket then presumably that’ll be on sky cos it ain’t on BBC (and I don’t count an hour of mark Nicholas mincing about on 5 as cricket) so i think that would make a certain kettle black.

    • Tis true: have taken the murdoch shilling (via Branson – my angst and guilt over which has been well documented and openly disclosed within these pages over the years.) I’m just not sure that quite tips the scales back the other way, are you ?

      • No, not really. Skip one value meal and a ouple beers at the Olympics and you’ve pretty much paid your monthly subs. Just another example of corporate thievery. “Sky: believe in better” should be “Sky: believe in no other choice”

      • All v good. Trouble is I can sit and decide whether to have Virgin, Sky or rely on T’BBC Salford. But when I’m in Olympic Park with screaming brats and their mother, I’m not given the choice of product nor price. But, again, everything you say about watching Sky is valid. I am a hostage to my sports viewing needs.

  3. Likewise. I want to watch the cricket hence I have to get Sky. (don’t even have the option of virgin). And similarly with the Olympics, it’s all pretty much washed over me. I live far enough away that even had I stumped up inflated prices to get tickets to the badminton or whatever’s cheapest, I’d still get stung on the travel to get to it, the double priced hotels and all the other junk like “that’s not a cheese burger, it’s an Olympic burger… That’s why it’s double what it cost last week…” etc.

    Needless to say, I think we share the viewpoint. Keep up the good work.

  4. Can you two please carry on on your personal emails. I come onto this site to read the views of a caustic miserable old git and his pythonesque rantings, not to be a voyeur on a cosy little chat!!
    harrummphhh 🙂

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