Fears that his arrival would be greeted with apathy were allayed last night when literally some people turned out in London to greet His Holiness Trevor the Last on his In-a-State visit to Britain. His huge mass was celebrated as crowds waited for him to turn several bottles of wine into water. Prayers were said for the tragic loss of his dress sense. Later today the Plastered Parisian Pontiff is expected to make a public apology for years of liver-abuse.