I have a problem which I hope you can help me with. I’m waiting for the postman to arrive with a letter I’m eagerly expecting. I’ve invited some celebrities to witness me opening the envelope but am unsure as to who or how many of them will turn up. I have asked the local paper to photograph the event too, if that helps.

Here’s my invite list. How many of them do you think would attend the opening of an envelope ?

All those who answered “all of them” please take a House Point. Although, to be fair, only Sue Pollard will admit she will only be present to further her career as a tv celebrity.