12.25: Joan Collins comes out for the Tories (shock) and tells Andrew Neil that “David Cameron, WhooWhoo!” (punches the air) “He’ll make a great Prime Minister because he has a very good look” (I’m not making any of this up, check it out on iPlayer)

Victor Meldrew (or at least the bloke who plays him) declares he wanted PR all along (having bigged-up Gordon for years).

Martin Amis, looks like he’s been on the shandy since early on, manages to say “Clegg” using four syllables. “Ch-ll-eel-gh” well done! Have another sip. Mind you, if I’d have been sat next to David Starkey all night I’d be tempted to have a snifter or two.

Hang on a minute! Am I actually watching the BBC’s election coverage? Who’s next to give their considered opinion? Timmy Mallet?