Let’s cheer ourselves up.

However dull football gets, it does occasionally throw up some sensational quotes from some very funny blokes. There were a few examples on the radio this morning and thought I’d share them, and a few others, with you.

“I’ve told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones”
Chris Turner, Peterborough manager

Our old mate Harry Redknapp, when manager at West Ham signing good-looking Portuguese winger Dani:
“My missus fancies him. Even I don’t know whether to play him or f*ck him.”

“I am a football manager. I can’t see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis.”
– Ian Holloway when asked whether QPR would be able to beat Manchester City.

Harry again, on his playing career, playing with the West Ham greats:
“Even when we had Moore, Hurst and Peters, West Ham’s average finish was about 17th. Which just shows how crap the other eight of us were.”

And I really like this one: 1980s Arsenal manager Terry Neill to one of his players:
“Every day you show up at training you play worse than you did the day before. Today you played like tomorrow”.

He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.” – QPR’s Holloway talking about Cristiano Ronaldo.

Finally, let’s give Harry the last word

“I sorted out the team formation last night lying in bed with the wife. When your husband’s as ugly as me, you’d only want to talk football in bed”

That’s your lot.