Tuesday April 13 (15.10hrs)
Dear Interflora
Finally some evidence of life in your company. Five minutes ago (3.05pm) your courier arrived at my door, carrying my order. Clearly confused, he asked if my name was Kate. I informed him, with all the dignity I could muster, that a) my name was not Kate; b) Kate wasn’t here today as her birthday was yesterday; and c) I no longer wanted the flowers and would not be signing for them. He left, looking even more confused, though no word of apology passed his lips. Is there no-one in your organisation (sic) who suffers from odd bouts of professionalism which might lend them to contacting me and saying sorry?
My phone is charged and turned on awaiting your call.
MB
I don’t think they’re gonna call, do you ?
.
The Sharp Single 
well, did they ?
Dear Mr Bealing,
Order Number: IN107374665
I write with reference to your recent Interflora order to Ms Kate Taylor. Firstly, I would like to thank you for bringing this to our attention and apologise for the disappointment and inconvenience this matter has caused. Giving and receiving flowers and gifts should always be a pleasurable experience and I was very sorry to learn of our failure to deliver your order in accordance with your instructions.
Since checking our courier service tracking system, it would appear that delivery was attempted on 12th April 2010, however, there was no response at the given address. However, I’m sure you will appreciate that we are only able to relay the information passed to us by our courier service and so we can only apologise for if this is incorrect.
As the item has since been refused from the address, I can confirm that a full refund has now been issued to your payment card. Please be aware that this may take between 3 and 5 working days to appear on your records.
We at Interflora fully realise the importance and significance of ensuring a gift arrives as expected and I am very sorry we failed to meet your expectations on this occasion. I would like to assure you that the details of this complaint have been duly noted and the issue will be addressed through our Quality Assurance programme which relates to all aspects of relay delivery, customer service and of course Member florist performance.
Once again please accept our apologies for any upset this matter has caused and thank you again for taking the time and trouble to bring this unfortunate incident to our attention.
Yours sincerely
Sarah
Interflora Customer Services
Presumably I was attending decorating the west wing of Railway Cuttings at the time and didn’t hear the doorbell go, or maybe I was in the lower paddock, tilling the earth. I give my staff Monday’s off, so it’s very possible the bell went un-noticed. On the other hand, the courier is a lying bastard.